Nashville: The End.

So I guess I'm going to test blogging from my phone. Don't know if I'll have the patience for a long post since I'm still adjusting to touch screen typing!

It's really hard to put into words what happened yesterday, and the whole week for that matter. As I put on my facebook status earlier, we received a massive upgrade on the inside this week. Being around all of these amazing people has really stretched and challenged our faith. Some of these guys are planting churches where they don't know a soul and are far far from family and friends but have a burning in their heart for these cities and a clear word from God to stand on. That was so inspiring to me.

And concerning us, which I'm sure some of you are wondering about, our exit interview was very interesting. We were the very last couple to get called in which was so nerve racking! I was thinking maybe they knew we would be upset with the news they gave us and didn't want us to have to face everyone afterwards. Kevin told us since he knew us he wanted us to be tortured. That's so Kevin. The bottom line is that we were given the go ahead to pursue whatever we wanted, with the condition that we read two books that were recommended to us.

What took place afterwards is difficult to even talk about or describe. The things that were said in that room are the kind of things you put away deep in your heart, like seeds planted deep down in the soil. It's not the kind of thing I will discuss in cyberspace- too precious, personal, and deep. And frankly a little scary and overwhelming. In the right kind of way. I could feel the weight of the words coming from each person sinking in my spirit. They were speaking with such reverence and seriousness. When people like that look at you and tell you what they see through their developed skill to do so combined with the discernment of the Holy Spirit, it's quite humbling and overwhelming. It's almost like feeling an obligation and responsibility to live up to the potential that's been laid out before you. That person they were talking about was so much bigger than the person I feel like on the inside. And that's what I meant when I said I felt like the inside of us got enlarged and expanded.

So now we have a lot of things to figure out. But what an amazing week. We are different people than when we got there at the beginning of the week. I know that's pretty vague but that's about as far as I can go for now. When we know more we'll let you know!!

On another completely different and superficial note, Nashville gave me a particularly amazing food experience. I don't usually get that excited about food, but Chris pointed out to me that at every meal I was saying how amazing it was. From a salad dressing to a dip to main courses, it was a feast for my senses!

I have some more pics to post but I'll have to wait until I'm at my computer to do so. I do want to say thanks again for everyone who has prayed for us this week. We were affirmed and encouraged beyond anything we ever thought would happen. Please keep praying for us as we continue to seek clarity.

Looking forward to seeing my babies tomorrow. We missed them! And again I will say what a week...

Nashville: Day Four

Um, I'm not going to post anything tonight. I'm beyond exhausted and emotionally spent, so it will have to wait until the morning. But not to worry, good things are going on people. Good things :)

Nashville: Day Three

Well, let's see...we got to the center and began like every other morning with some worship. Then we immediately got together and worked on our big group presentation. We had until after lunch and then we made the presentation. We had (thanks to the direction of my husband) everyone broken up into teams to make the information more manageable and easier to do. A lot of people did some homework over the night. Us not so much! We delegated and went home to relax!! It was funny because Chris is the one who nominated the guy we looked to for the "lead" man on the project, and then he turned right around and any time he got pulled away for an interview he had Chris in charge and helping everyone. This project was probably one of the high points for Chris because he really got to step up and have a lot of influence and leadership over the group. The assessment team was strategic in how they pulled people away from the interviews. Once we established the leader and he began to take over, they pulled him out. Same thing happened again today. So he left and Chris was in charge. Well, guess who got pulled next....

So off we go to our ministry interview. And wondering how it was going to be when we got back into the group after being gone. Big, fat snowflakes were swirling around us outside all day long. It was so beautiful in the midst of those big hills. This interview was really long (maybe it just felt like that), and there were three assessors in there this time. They asked both of us questions, but mostly Chris. A lot about what he thinks his limitations are, and pretty much just drilling us on all things ministry and our personal spiritual lives. Some of the discussion about us (and to everyone in the group sessions) is how you handle being young and being the lead pastor. So some talk about that and what he would do to combat that. I think we were in there like an hour!

When we got back we only had a few minutes to get ready for this presentation we were about to do. Which was kind of crazy for Chris because he was in charge of presenting the vision part, which is sort of important. I don't remember if I said it earlier, but each person in the group was required to talk in this 25-30 minute presentation. Surprisingly enough, it ended up going really well. Everyone did a great job. We had a powerpoint show and made the pitch to the "rich business man" and his "people". I'm happy to say that he decided to invest into our church plant! What was really awesome is that they had some great things to say for feedback, and then Kevin York told us (and then heard others say after that) that this was the best presentation they've ever seen from an assessment center. Wow. That was huge! Some of the things they said that were so great were a direct result of what Chris did. Whether they saw that or not I don't know, but it still made him feel good.

After the presentation they gave us the low down on what would happen tomorrow. We'll be getting one of three recommendations: green light: go for it any time you're ready, yellow light: we see the call on you and believe you can do it but need a little more time and gathering before you go plant, and red light: being a lead guy is just not your lane and you will not be advancing the Kingdom to the best of your ability if you try to do this. This is when I started feeling a little nervous! So basically tomorrow morning we show up, have worship (which Chris and I get to do so that will be awesome), have some kind of group meeting and the exit interviews will begin. One couple at a time they will pull us out to give us our fate. We prayed over all of the assessors before they left to deliberate that God would just give them wisdom and guide the whole process. These people really know what they're doing and not only use their abilities and gifts but rely on the Holy Spirit and spiritual discernment to make their decision. There's a whole lot of trusting the process and trusting God in the process!

So this has been an insane roller coaster ride of emotions. One minute you're feeling good about something, one minute you're doubting everything and feeling so insecure. Obviously this process is designed to do that- they're trying to break us down and see what we're made of! As Chris and I were driving away today, it was sobering/nerve racking leaving that place knowing that they were going to spend the rest of the day talking about everything about us and making a decision. I honestly can't say we just feel great- we're doing the whole wish-we-would-have-said-that or I-regret-this thing. Not that it's going to do any good or anything! But again, whatever is said we believe will be for our best. So we're going in expecting anything to happen! We know that God is in control and He has great plans for us. Even if we're not quite ready for the next thing we're well on our way. I guess we'll have something to say tomorrow....and we'll try to get a little rest between now and then :)

Still didn't take a lot of pics, but I did manage to snap a couple on my phone. Definitely taking my camera tomorrow.

This was when we were working on our group project last night. It's not everybody.

These are my cool new England friends, Yvette and Suzanne (pronounced Su Zahn, with an accent). Actually they're from South Africa but are at a church in London. And you know I wish I talked like them :)

Now on the left our friend, Tanya, from Russia. Also cool accent. And her husband's name is Pasha, which constantly makes me think of So You Think You Can Dance.

Nashville: Day Two

So. Tired. Can. Barely. Type.

Got back to our room at 9 after a 12 hour day. When we got together this morning we started out with a little worship and then just a little intro. Our first project was a case study where we broke up into groups of 4 or 5 (Chris and I were separated, as were all spouses), then we were given a church plant situation gone bad and we had to break it down, figure out what went wrong, what happened, and if it were us would we have taken the job. Anytime we were doing activity there were a group of assessors watching how we interact with each other, skills we brought to the table, group dynamic, etc. And there was this insane time limit on everything that was so stressful! It's kind of hard knowing someone is watching you all of the time. I caught myself looking at everyone and worrying too much what they were all thinking!

We came back together and had a presentation on the strengths finder test we took before we got there. It was a very interesting/enlightening presentation, and Chris and I are definitely becoming keenly aware of the type of people we need around us to have a successful team. Especially considering the fact that we end up so similar on most of these things! There are a lot of good things about that, but there's a necessity to have people that don't think like us around us! All of these tests and processes are just fascinating because not only do you learn more about yourself, but you can understand everyone better and see how to better relate to those around you. We took a lunch break after this.

Lunch/eating times are awesome because not only we get to build relationship with the other candidates, but we get to know some of these amazing assessors as well. The amount of care, time, and investment these people are making into us is almost overwhelming. One time this afternoon I almost started crying just thinking about how grateful I am to be here, these people here that care so much about wanting God's best for us, and all of the people in our life that have been praying for us, thinking about us, texting us, and have contributed to us being here. If you're reading this and you are in that category, thank you. We love you.

After lunch we had an evangelism interview, one on one. This was our philosophy on evangelism, questions about how we've been evangelizing in our personal life, and how we would lead someone to the Lord. That was kind of tough, but not as bad as I thought it would be!

We then had another group case study. We were given an example of a city and some info, and we then had to come up with a church plant out of that which included philosophy of ministry, strategy, vision, etc. This was also timed. Chris and I came to the conclusion when we got back together that we both felt like we sucked a little bit at these timed things! Not feeling quite as confident as yesterday :)

There was another presentation over our final test, the Golden Portrait Personality profile, which is very similar to the Myers- Briggs test, for those of you that are familiar with that. We had lots of time for questions about these profiles after the presentation. Then eat again!

The last task of the day was probably the craziest. It was an Apprentice style (the Donald Trump reality show) task. All of us (20 of us) were given a city that we were planting a church in. We were to come up with a presentation to pitch to a business man with some big bucks to persuade him to invest into and fund the plant. The goal was to plant a church and within seven years plant five more out of that one. This means we staff the thing, study demographics, cast vision, have strategy, come up with how much money we need, all of that. We make a 25-30 minute presentation tomorrow where everyone has to speak. 20 people. 20 I think I have the best idea leader people. You imagine that environment! It got a little crazy at times, but I was very impressed/proud of my husband. Of course, when things get out of hand, he shines because he steps right in and is able to sum up what everyone is saying and get on track. I can tell the people in the group respect him as a leader. And again, of course, everyone is watching us. So we will see what happens tomorrow when we make this massive presentation!!

The last thing we did was during all of that group time, they pulled couples out one at a time for a counseling interview. This was with one of the assessors that is a really amazing marriage/family counselor who also professionally does these personality things- in other words she knows what she's doing! She just had a personal time with us as a couple, asking us some questions and making suggestions for us. Really important things like how we guard our time and our hearts, stuff like that. The kind of stuff that will kill you in ministry if you don't have a handle on it. It was a very encouraging/ sweet time.

I'm not even going to proofread anything I just wrote. So it's highly likely that there are lots of mistakes/things that don't make sense. That's unlike me, but I'm zonked. Also said I would take pictures today but I didn't. Oh well. Tomorrow perhaps. Must get some rest. Even after not feeling so great and assured about ourselves today, it is still an amazing time. I am loving every minute of this.

Happy Birthday Cadence

Today we celebrate our sweet, colorful daughter who is 4. Can hardly believe it. Since we are away from her I threw together some of my favorite pics of her through the years (while I was waiting in the airport). And I found this song that if I could possibly put Cadence and everything she is into a song, this one comes pretty darn close. From the light, innocent musicality of it to the lyrics and just the name "Colors". Yep, that's Cadence. So enjoy this tribute to our precious Cadence Faith Pate. We love you, daughter.

Nashville: Day One

Wow. What a day!! We drove up to the assessment center, which is held at the Franklin campus of the church here. The scenery alone is beautiful and inspiring, set in the middle of rolling hills with some big ol' houses. Someone pointed to one and said that was Dave Ramsey's house. Kevin York called it "the house that cash built"- lol. And the church itself owns an old, historic home on their property that we spent part of the day in. Sitting in a room that the floors and fireplace and everything else is from the 1700's is awesome.

Right off the bat the first two couples we met were from Latvia and Ireland. All of a sudden it felt like we didn't travel so far anymore.... we were surprised at the international couples there! All in all the couples are from England (2 couples), Latvia, Ireland, North Carolina, Florida (two couples and they are actually Phillipino), DC area, and there in Tennessee. It was an amazing feeling sitting in a room with such a global feel. Definitely makes you feel like you're a part of something so much bigger. We had in introduction session of meeting everyone and the assessor staff as well. There is a team of 15 people assessing everyone, and they're all extremely successful, talented, and sharp people. After the intro we had lunch there, and then there was a presentation to everyone about one of the personality profiles we had already taken before we got there. It was a lot of detailed explanation about the four types (this was the DISC profile if you're wondering) and knowing about them better. Those are always kind of funny for us because we get the same results. Most couples (and I think every other one here besides us) have different results, and they usually compliment each other. They've got to look at our stuff and go what's up with these people! Then after that we split up into three groups for the mini presentations. Chris had to prepare four miniature presentations, each ten minutes, with Q&A afterwards for both of us from the assessors. We also had to both describe each other using 5 adjectives. The presentations were about the call to ministry, recruiting a launch team for your church plant, your philosophy of ministry, and a mini "launch" message (what you would say to a congregation on the first Sunday of your new church). Chris of course was amazing. Not that anybody would be surprised. He sure was glad to get this day over with, though! Nerves were definitely settling in this morning! There will still be interviews and other things, but all of his presentations were today. Now we can relax a little bit!! Today was 11-7. Tomorrow is 9-7. Long day.

We are feeling great after this first day. Exhausted. Excited. Hopeful. Reflective. Encouraged. And I wish I had a cool accent. More to come. Tomorrow I will take some pics :)

Nashville: Getting There

I think I'm going to try to blog every day we're here. Not making any promises, considering some of the days will be ten hour days- but I'll give it a shot! I know there are several people that are interested in our journey.

For those that might read this blog and don't know where we are, Chris and I are now in Nashville, TN this week at a Pastor's Assessment Center. It consists of four days of intense interviewing, testing (like personality profiling, gifts, strengths, etc), and lots of getting up in our business type stuff. Chris has to make four mini presentations over different subjects and then is evaluated and discussed right there. We think there are seven other couples besides us, but we'll find out for sure when we get there in the morning. This has been months in the making, and we're believing that it will help give some definition to this next season of our life and ministry that is approaching.

The trip here was anything but pleasant! Before we ever took off the runway, the airplane all of a sudden lost all power. After a minute or two the pilot came on saying that the thing (I know- real technical- I know nothing about planes) that supplies power to the engine and the air conditioning had shut itself down as a precaution that there was something wrong, but they were getting back up one to help get us going. I don't want to hear words like "troubleshooting" about the plane I'm about to ride in. I was a little anxious. Chris was laughing at me because I was squeezing his hand and didn't realize that I kept getting tighter and tighter! But we took off just fine. There was stormy weather all around us, and on this first flight we were on a very small airplane that tossed us like salad during the turbulence. I really thought at one point that I was about to lose it. Had to close my eyes and not move until we landed. Needless to say I was so glad to get off that plane and run to the nearest airport store that carried Dramamine for the next flight! Thanks to the medication and some food in the tummy the second flight to Nashville was much more pleasant- we had our moment of hesitation because there was a thunderstorm while we were waiting to board and thought it was going to be delayed but wasn't. And here are some disturbing images I saw looking through one of those random airplane magazines that kept me entertained (and bothered and bewildered)

And first we have the pet doorbell- most of the things that were most disturbing had to do with pets...

And for your dog that is too fat to jump on the couch...so now he gets even less exercise

This just makes you ask, "Why???" The people that come up with these things have too much time and the people that actually buy these things have too much money to throw away

And because a yard gnome isn't bad enough....let's have aliens stealing him

And the most disturbing award goes to.... potty train your cat. Creepy and wrong on way too many levels. Chris leaned over to me and said in a scared voice, "Just look at the way he's looking at me." I know.

You know you're in Nashville when you step off the plane to hear a dude playing live country music on his acoustic guitar, complete with a tip jar and all. In the airport. And although I admit we're not fans of country music, what I do love about this place is that music is everywhere. It's playing, it's decorated with music decor, and that makes people who love music happy. The walls along our hotel floor are adorned with music prints of close up shots of instruments. Just a cool place.

So now we're sitting in our hotel room- I'm blogging and Chris is preparing for the things he's going to talk about tomorrow. I also have to come up with 5 adjectives describing him (and him for me) and we have to talk about that a little, so I have homework, too! Good thing lots of people are praying for us, because the butterflies are settling in! I mean, no big deal- just the rest of our life, right?? Or the next chapter, at least.

But I can tell you one thing- I don't know that I've ever had the sense of true providence that I feel now. It's like the scene in Indiana Jones when he steps out off that ledge and just as he's about to fall the stone appears under his foot, and then they appear all the way across to get him there. One of the actual dictionary definitions for Providence is: "timely preparation for future eventualities". Another says, "the protective care of God as a supernatural power." I literally feel like tomorrow we will walk into the start of something we don't know yet but has been prepared and planned for us. That's exciting. So after we get tomorrow out of the way we'll both (especially Chris) feel a lot better because we will at least have an idea of what it is like. Right now we don't. But it's still exciting. So until then....

Snow Day Pics

As I'm looking outside to the beautiful 65 degree weather today, I find it so strange that one week ago today these pictures really happened here. Even more strange was a mere 24 hours after this wonderful event it was gone as fast as it came. But it sure was a fabulous day when it was here :)

Posing for some family snow pictures!

Trying to catch snowflakes on her tongue. This picture looks like it could be in a magazine to me.... such a beautiful girl!

Now this is a serious snowball!

This is "Ha ha- I got you!"

Bracing for the snowball impact! She loved it!

Making a snowman

We opted for a miniature snowman because I didn't think they'd last long enough to make a big one, although we had the snow for it!

Ta-da!

And my predictions came true- Cadence did not last until the end of making the Snowman, and as soon as we finished Addison was done, too!

Enjoying some hot chocolate post snow play- yum yum!

Fun times.

V-day Love

Well, it's a day late, but I just wanted to share some love from love day. We recorded a little message for ya. Even funnier is a video message I found from last year that never made it to the blog... I remember having some trouble with it for some reason and it never downloaded. So you get to enjoy both! Just look at how much they've grown :)

This year first.....

How cute is that??

And a look at what I got for Chris- I found a place that printed your pictures onto cookies! So it was only fitting (since my husband's nickname is White Chocolate) that I choose Oreo cookies dipped in white chocolate. They turned out so great and were soooo yummy! That and some journals I covered in material for us to write little notes to each other in. Gotta keep the fires burning!

And Mr. Man surprised me with an iPhone for my V-day present. So excited! It just happened to work out with my current contract and how long I've had my phone, so now I have joined the ranks of...well, most everyone I know! The kids enjoyed opening up goodie boxes and cards from grandparents, and of course some sugary sweetness from us as well. We also had a banquet at church that we got to get all fancy for, so it was a sweet little day all around. Lots of love! And it's true what the kids said above- We love you!!

Peace out from the Pate house.

Snow.

I am constantly amazed by the canvas of nature. I am one that appreciates all seasons for what they are (which is a completely different stream of thought), but I especially love snow. There's something about the complete transformation of white and beautiful snowflakes softly falling that is very serene.

The irony that strikes me is that one of nature's most powerful moments is a time when the individual beauty, color and form that makes each work of nature so astounding is completely hidden, dormant, and covered by the uniformity of pure white. The flowers, the trees, the plants, the colorful masterpiece that is mother nature is momentarily suspended under this all emcompassing and consuming blanket. It was in this moment of thought that the Lord reminded me of this verse:

"Come now, let us reason together," says the Lord. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow..." (Isaiah 1:18)

As individual and unique as God made us (which is to be celebrated and embraced), could it be that we are at our most powerful when we are covered and completely transformed by another identity that consumes everything about us and unifies us? When we are dead, we come to life with a purity and power that cannot be generated from anything we have to offer. In Christ, as a new creation, we operate in the power of unity and become one with those around us no matter what color they are or what opinions they hold. And nothing underneath that was there before matters in that moment.

In Christ alone is the chance to let all things be made new. I love the language of the verse, "Come now, let us reason together..." A reminder to me that to die to me is to truly live in Him. And the purity of white is so much more powerful than the colorful mess I try to gather to change the world on my own.

**Today's stream of consciousness is brought to you by the fact that my precious snow fun day pictures are held captive inside my camera due to my card reader dying. Boo. (the pic above is an old snow picture) Hopefully pics to come tomorrow with a new card reader. Yay **

Random Mind Dump

I think posts of this nature are more appropriately titled that. The alliteration and concept of Thursday Ten is cute, but I don't always do this on Thursdays, and I don't always have ten things to say and don't want to if I don't feel like it. Someday maybe I'll blog more frequently than bits of thoughts thrown down as an attempt to keep up with the Pates. I didn't originally set out to blog in list form only... But today that is what you get.

1. So this is what Addison said while watching a commercial about a no-touch home soap dispenser (while I was sitting there thinking that it was kind of a silly invention yet at the same time kind of wanting one): "I think they make those commercials because they are just trying to get your money." You don't get anything past Addison.

2. Got a dozen beautiful red roses and chocolate yesterday. Why, you ask? The answer was that it had just been a while since I'd gotten flowers. Love this man. And can I just say that flowers are so much more delightful just because instead of on a major holiday. Not that I would mind getting them again on a major holiday coming soon :) I tried to put a pic on here of them, but apparently my card reader has decided not to work today. Or maybe ever again. Boo!

3. I got my first pattern for a little girl dress. Yep, I'm going to try to tackle making my first piece of clothing and hopefully it will resemble an adorable little girl outfit when I'm done. Or as close as one could get on their first try. Not gonna lie- even though it's an "easy" one I looked at the pattern and wondered what I had gotten myself into.... we shall see. If it all goes well we might have a homemade Easter dress, people! Move over Martha Stewart!

4. There are so many things brewing in my spirit right now. I wish I could articulate some of them, but I don't think it's time yet. I'm feeling the gentle nudging to write more. I've mentioned this before. Still don't know what that looks like yet. Have a separate blog- one for family related things and one for spiritual things? I agree with Rob Bell who says everything is spiritual, so I see it hard to make that separation, as if my every day life was not spiritual. It's totally spiritual. It is the basis of most of my inspiration to spiritual thinking. Maybe the blog could just have different theme days or something. Are you tired of me thinking out loud yet??

5. Becoming aware of the need for my sweet daughter to be engaged in more "feminine" things. Dance class is good, but it is thrown in there with being in a class full of boys at church and having an older brother, older boy cousin, and just "rough and tough" stuff all the time. Poor thing just doesn't have many little girls in her world. She is so girly in many ways, but I know that if I do not nurture and encourage her feminine qualities and bring her up as a young lady, those things that are innate in us as women can get drowned out in the noise of everything else competing for her attention. I don't want her growing up being confused in her identity and letting the things of the world help dictate what that looks like, but rather embracing the things that make her special, that make her a daughter of the King, and being confident in that. And I'm feeling the weight of that. In a good way, not a bad way. And that goes for Addison, too (except obviously meaning for him becoming a man), but my role in bringing up a son is drastically different than my role in bringing up a daughter.

6. And now a very humorous story that supports my case mentioned above- okay, not seriously- it's just darn funny. A couple of nights ago as the kids were taking a bath, Cadence pointed at Addison and said, "I'm going to get one of those like Addison when I get bigger. When I turn four." I'm going to let you draw your own conclusions in what she was referencing to keep this cyber-space appropriate. We have much to learn, daughter. Much to learn.

7. Addison has seven lessons left to be done with first grade math. I suppose we'll go on and start second grade math, but I'm just not in a hurry for him to breeze his way through school and grow up too quickly. Is that wrong? Trying to find a good balance of keeping him challenged and letting him excel and making sure he stays grounded and has lots of "six year old moments". I'm sure Chris and I will have many discussions of that nature concerning him through the years, because he'll be one to always be ahead of the game. Geez- we love our precious children! Such a blessing and source of joy to our hearts.

8. Chris has entered a new set of digits in his journey of being a smaller man. Each time a new set of ten comes along it's a huge victory. I'm so proud of him. His life change has inspired discipline in other areas of our life that were much needed. He is an inspirational and motivational leader that can lead by example. I love that.

9. Cinnamon Dolce Lattes from Starbucks are lovely. Anything cinnamon is lovely, for that matter. Had one Monday morning with Addison while Cadence was in dance class. And I of course found a new mug there that I feel I need one day (what? If you drink a lot of coffee you needs lots of cute mugs...). Those are sweet little moments we get to share, just me and him. Take this six year old out and you'll be surprised at how much conversation you will have :) He'll make you think on your toes.

Well, I'm going to try to get myself up and accomplish something this evening. Been fighting perpetual sinus issues and have had more bad days than good ones lately. Very frustrating. Especially when the pace of my life doesn't allow much time for "slow". Yet I seem to be stuck in slow motion lately. Also not good when your job is working out to work people out. Oh well, the show must go on!

Peace out from the Pate house