Home.

Home is something that's becoming an increasingly relative term to me lately.

I have always been someone who takes great solace in my physical home, wherever it may be. If I have some family pictures up, a good Glade plug in smell, some color and good decor, and most importantly, my family there with me I'm good to go. It's a refuge in a busy life. It's probably a woman thing- we take pride in our homes. It's an environment we work hard to create and maintain, and we long for others to feel the warmth and love of our labor when they step foot into our territory.

Externally speaking, I'm a little out of sorts right now. My current home is beginning to pile up with boxes. No more pictures on the wall. No more personal touches. No more warm, inviting atmosphere- oh, on the contrary to be exact. It's a little chaotic around here. I can even sense it in my children- it's not feeling like home to them, either. Not to mention that Chris is gone. So in every sense of how I defined home above I have suddenly gone from all I've known for eight years to feeling like a stranger wondering around in a foreign land.

And on top of the sudden feeling of being a square peg in a round hole, there is no security of a physical place for us to go to at the end of this week. Yes, that's right. We are still trying to find a place to live. Nothing like getting down to the wire! So you can see my dilemma here. Externally I feel more out of place than I've probably ever felt. And if you've ever felt that, then you know it's a little unsettling.

But internally something wonderful and unexpected has taken place.

In the midst of all of this, my heart has been transplanted into a place I've never called home. Yet. My feet are longing for streets I've never walked down like it was pavement from a familiar and wonderful memory. My heart is beating with the pulse of a city so large it's completely overwhelming, but feel drawn to it with the intimacy of a small hometown. From the first time we stepped foot into Houston, we just felt like we fit. We've never lived in a place even remotely that large, yet we felt like the vibe of the city resonated within us. It's something I can only describe as the spirit of adoption, coming straight from the heart of God, allowing me to experience feelings that surpass anything that would make sense to our minds. I suppose when God calls you somewhere and gives you the honor and privilege of serving a people, a church, and a city, He supernaturally plants a love for that place in your heart like it was what you were born for. I guess it is what we were born for.

So even though I don't know where we'll rest our heads in just a few short days, and I am feeling unsettled and uncertain externally, my heart is ready. Ready to be home.