Deja Vu

dé·jà vu [dey-zhah voo, vyoo; Fr. dey-zha vy]- noun.- a feeling of having already experienced the present situation.

Yep. That's us. This morning, we're packing suitcases and heading to Houston to stay with my aunt and uncle in Katy to go look at houses tomorrow. Wait. Didn't I relay that exact same scenario almost a month ago? Why, yes I did. And the search continues.

So that's our update. Since my last lofty, abstract post, here's the reality: Chris is technically the Lead pastor of City Life Church starting tomorrow. This Sunday is the big "setting in" service where it becomes official. We have our belongings packed in boxes out in the garage with the exception of what's in suitcases. And we are going to Houston. With the suitcases. Without the boxes and furniture. Without a home. With children that are a bit disoriented and confused (albeit pretty resilient and optimistic, considering). There's the facts.

I'm sure there is all sorts of activity and movement in the spiritual realm at this moment, preparing us to walk in the steps that have been predestined for us to walk in. That our home is awaiting our arrival and all of the previous losing battles over securing a home will make sense in that moment when we step foot in the place we belong. That God is going to do amazing things upon our arrival and that's why we've faced the opposition just to physically get there.

And that's what we're telling ourselves. Reminding ourselves. Over and over. Because the emotions and exhaustion are waging their own battle against everything we know in our hearts to be true. But what makes that different than any other day we have in life as a Christ follower? Some days it's just harder to claw your way through what you see in the natural to cling to the promises you have from the Kingdom that is the greater reality, although it is one we cannot see.

And I'm believing that the next time I sit in front of this screen to speak with you, we will be moving on to the other hundred million things we have to do besides find a place to live :)

Peace out from the (traveling) Pate house.

Home.

Home is something that's becoming an increasingly relative term to me lately.

I have always been someone who takes great solace in my physical home, wherever it may be. If I have some family pictures up, a good Glade plug in smell, some color and good decor, and most importantly, my family there with me I'm good to go. It's a refuge in a busy life. It's probably a woman thing- we take pride in our homes. It's an environment we work hard to create and maintain, and we long for others to feel the warmth and love of our labor when they step foot into our territory.

Externally speaking, I'm a little out of sorts right now. My current home is beginning to pile up with boxes. No more pictures on the wall. No more personal touches. No more warm, inviting atmosphere- oh, on the contrary to be exact. It's a little chaotic around here. I can even sense it in my children- it's not feeling like home to them, either. Not to mention that Chris is gone. So in every sense of how I defined home above I have suddenly gone from all I've known for eight years to feeling like a stranger wondering around in a foreign land.

And on top of the sudden feeling of being a square peg in a round hole, there is no security of a physical place for us to go to at the end of this week. Yes, that's right. We are still trying to find a place to live. Nothing like getting down to the wire! So you can see my dilemma here. Externally I feel more out of place than I've probably ever felt. And if you've ever felt that, then you know it's a little unsettling.

But internally something wonderful and unexpected has taken place.

In the midst of all of this, my heart has been transplanted into a place I've never called home. Yet. My feet are longing for streets I've never walked down like it was pavement from a familiar and wonderful memory. My heart is beating with the pulse of a city so large it's completely overwhelming, but feel drawn to it with the intimacy of a small hometown. From the first time we stepped foot into Houston, we just felt like we fit. We've never lived in a place even remotely that large, yet we felt like the vibe of the city resonated within us. It's something I can only describe as the spirit of adoption, coming straight from the heart of God, allowing me to experience feelings that surpass anything that would make sense to our minds. I suppose when God calls you somewhere and gives you the honor and privilege of serving a people, a church, and a city, He supernaturally plants a love for that place in your heart like it was what you were born for. I guess it is what we were born for.

So even though I don't know where we'll rest our heads in just a few short days, and I am feeling unsettled and uncertain externally, my heart is ready. Ready to be home.

Buried With Christ...

and raised to walk in newness of life.

Sunday, May 16th, was a very special day in our family. As I shared on the blog earlier, Addison expressed the desire to be baptized on his own accord, and he even picked the location. Which, if I were to pick the perfect location, it would be this one. It was on the ACU campus at something called "Jacob's Dream". It's full of rocks with scripture words engraved in them and a huge iron statue of climbing Jacob's ladder. The little fountain was designed specifically for the purpose of being able to do baptisms, although I don't know if it's used that often for that reason. It's such beautiful place.

The weather had been rainy and stormy all weekend long and we were so concerned we wouldn't be able to do it there. But wouldn't you know that God opened up the skies Sunday just for my son so he could have this special moment. When I told him that, in true Addison fashion, he said to me: "Well, it wasn't just for me. There might be a lot of other people getting baptized today, too." Always thinking about other people, too. That's our son.

So enjoy the pictures and video of our moment. The video is short and sweet- when you're baptizing a six year old, it can't be a long, drawn out process. We were just glad he didn't freak out too much from the water.

Jacob's Dream, set in the middle of the beautiful Abilene Christian University campus

Closer pic of the ladder statue- it's really huge up close

The baptism fountain

Example of the many rocks all around with words from scripture on them

My personal favorite- posted a closer version of this in the last post

All of our family that was there with us. (There were several people from our church there also besides family)

I lost some quality of the video when I exported it for the blog, but you can still get in on the action. To quote my dad on the video, "Glory!"

The Beginning of the End and the Beginning

How's that for a confusing title? That's pretty accurate right now (confusing and crazy). It's been so long since I've been able to post because our life is turned completely upside down and then some right now. To be expected, of course, but that doesn't necessarily make it any easier. Some things that have transpired since the last post:

*And I should make this disclaimer now that posting might be a little sparse during this transition, so the chunks you get might be a little longer than is good blog etiquette, and might be highly charged with emotion as I process, so I'm just sayin'. You've been warned.*

A trip to Houston to find a home. I'm sorry to report that we did not come home with a home. I don't want to say it was a waste of time because it was still good to be there and be with City Life Church (henceforth to be referred to as CLC) people, and we also got to spend time with some wonderful family. Our little trip to the zoo was also fun, and I'm glad we took time to do a couple of things for the kids because they were such troopers through it all. However, it was a little disappointing that all of the hours spent driving around Houston looking at houses ended up with us now in Abilene scrambling in the eleventh hour to find a place to rest our heads in a week and a half when Houston becomes home. This has been consuming a majority of my time, and it's proven to be much more stressful than I had anticipated/planned for. Trying to find a place when you don't know anything about the areas, and having several different opinions from people that all are wonderful and are offering their help but everyone had different things to say, is tough. Not to mention I didn't think I'd still be having to deal with all of it after the trip when I now have so many other things to do. I hope that by this time tomorrow we will have a home. There is something in the works as we speak.

A few pics from the zoo (I have lots more, so I'm going to throw my pics on Shutterfly if you want to see them later):

This guy was being so funny. He was right up against the glass and was playing with the kids.

Saying my goodbyes to lots of wonderful people at Hendrick Health Club. My Active Living (the older adults) class gave me a party last Friday, and then another party after my farewell Jam class last night. Having my last classes was a bit surreal- hasn't quite hit me yet.

My sweet little Active Living class. They are so fun.

The beautiful cake they got me :)

A massive garage sale this past weekend. We spent half of Thurs. and all of Fri into the wee hours of the morning getting ready, but it was worth it- we made good money and got rid of a TON of stuff. Yay for us. It was a win that I desperately needed, even though it was a pain.

This same weekend also had Chris's final message at our church here (newly known as Grace Point, formerly MSCC), our final Sunday here as a family, Addison's baptism that afternoon (which will have its own stand alone post following this one), and then a leadership meeting where we were prayed over and then had a big reception for us afterwards. It was very sweet. I don't know that I've ever heard Chris preach like that. It's podcast worthy, if anyone out there would like to give it a listen. (Go to mscc.tv and go to the media section) Since the kids and I will be here one more Sunday, it didn't quite feel like I'm leaving yet. But I don't think it will all really sink in until that U-haul is pulling away and Abilene is in the rear view mirror.

The priceless expression of shock from coming up from cold water! What a special day.

My amazing life group, Chrysalis, at our reception. They gave me a beautiful book that they all wrote very kind and generous words in.

It hits me in waves. Ebb and flow. Waves of emotion about leaving, waves of anxiety about all of the things to do, waves of excitement for all the things to come, etc. What is a constant right now is both exhaustion and emotion. Those are there in some form at all times! And Chris leaves tomorrow for Bootcamp in Nashville, which is exciting, but also crazy for me as I head into one of the biggest weekends of the year for me- the APAC dance recital which includes both me and my children. Extra rehearsals, big show, and packing up my house and finding a new one in between, without my husband here. I'm going to stop talking now because I feel another wave coming on just thinking about all of that and it's not a good one!

Obviously lots going on right now. If you have a moment, say a prayer for the Pates as we make this massive life transition into a new (large) city, new jobs, new culture, saying goodbye to eight years of life that happened here, and the craziness happening up to that point otherwise known as moving. We'd sure appreciate it :) Peace out from the Pate house.