Fast Lane February!

February is most certainly living up to the expectation we had for it- fast and furious!  I'm kind of liking the iPhone dump system I've had lately, except that I'd like to do it more like once a week instead of once a month!  I've been pretty good about taking pictures because of a sort of, semi-scrapbook project that I'm doing offline, so it makes sense to dump them off my phone onto the ol' bloggity blog as an "our week in pictures" type of thing. (What was that we did again before the iPhone? Yeah, I don't remember, either.) I'm still fleshing out the format of the blog, what's doable and realistic for me, how often, the different focuses, etc., so bear with me through it you faithful, you members of my family plus about three that read this.

This has only been the past two weeks.  And I don't have a picture representation for everything that's gone on, so fast and furious is accurate!

One of the great perks of living in a big city is that there's always something really great going on you can be a part of.  Right down the street from us Israel Houghton and the New Breed recorded their new live album and we got to go.  The atmosphere was absolutely electric- it was such a blast!  The kids were so into it.  There's hardly anything that touches my heart more than to see Addison worshiping. He gets so into it.  I would have loved to snap a pic of him but I didn't want to embarrass him!

A few days later we had a Super Bowl party at our house (after the Saturday of a church wide service project and friend's birthday party).  It was massive- there was undoubtedly more food than Thanksgiving or Christmas, probably combined.  Prizes for who called the score and yards for half time/game, half time paper football tournament, tons of people, and did I mention all the food?  

These feet are shuffling together 24/7.  Check out those little chunky legs, would ya? 

Random school picture.  Fractions and shading fractions. Oh yeah.

After a another record attendance this past Sunday (we're bumping up against 150!), we had our New Comer's Dinner in our home.  We push the limits of how many people we can cram into our dining space every time we have one of these, and this time there were over 20 new people there.  City Life Church is a fast moving train, and sometimes we feel like we can barely hang on to keep up but it's an exciting ride!

Not only has our home been perfect for all of the many things we have going on in it, but I keep finding surprises planted in the landscaping.  I can't tell you what this is (because I don't know), but it's making an appearance in our front yard and it is the best. smelling. plant. ever.  Ever. I wish this picture was scratch and sniff so you could see for yourself. It's like something that would be a fruity lotion smell. 

 

We received some really hard news about a family member who is beginning her journey battling cancer this week.  Her faith is so strong and inspiring, and she has such a courageous spirit and we know God is strong with her and is our Healer.  Janet, if you're reading this we love you so much and are praying for you!  (and I promise I'm getting these sweet cards Addison and Cadence made in the mail!)

Of course Valentine's Day happened yesterday.  Chris and I actually went out last Friday to celebrate early because we had babysitters!  That was one of the first times we've been out alone since Jaxon was born, so needless to say we were happy to be out and about!  That will be happening more often now!

 And finally my little hearts.  I call this my little Valentine's Day miracle, because you know the process behind getting this final product.  I am always amazed when I can get a picture where everyone is actually looking in the same direction and making a non-strange expression.  My little babies are so beautiful, if I do say so myself.  And yes, it appears Jaxon's hair is red in these pics.  It doesn't always look like that, but it seems like every time he has a picture taken it comes out like that.  Time will tell, I guess! If you look really hard in his picture you can see a bottom tooth poking out.  Yeah, that one is costing us some!

 Peace out from the Pate house.

On writing, disciplines, and snotty noses.

I've been thinking a lot lately about writing.  One of my goals in the new year is to write more. Not sure where it will lead, what form it will take (songs, blogs, etc.), or why I really feel such a fire in my bones to do it, but I've done all my wrestling with that and now I'm just going to figure out how to make it happen.  I'm afraid I won't have anything to say that matters, I'm afraid nobody will care if I do or if I don't (which shouldn't matter, but just being honest), and now my pride doesn't want to do it because Mommy blogging...well, blogging in general I guess, is taking over the universe right now and everybody is doing it. It's that teenager independence thing, that I can't do what everybody else is doing, thing. I know, mature. But guess what?  The latter is my own fault- I mean, I have been blogging for over three years now, and if I'd been cranking out more than the obligatory catching up, look how cute and brilliant my kids are posts every now and then (which I will shamelessly continue to do, btw), as was my original intention, I would have been cool like that.  And I would have been obedient to my convictions. But I digress.

As much as I love to write, feel like I need to write, I've struggled with penning what's in my heart and ultimately sharing it. Here's one of my problems. I think there's this misconception about having a desire or strong feeling to do something.  We think that just because we are inspired or called to action that it will magically just happen for us. That inspiration will hit us in just the moment we need it- and when it doesn't we just shrug our shoulders, go on about our business, and think maybe we weren't supposed to do that after all.  The misconception lies in the process.  Because sometimes I think we forget there is a process. I've heard this process described many times before, cleverly packaged into three D's:

Desire....Discipline....Delight.

They are somewhat self-explanatory, so I won't insult your intelligence by going into great detail on all three. But I will say I think we typically want to go, or feel as it should go, straight from desire to the delight stage.  Getting the idea, desiring a better relationship, wanting to change those habits, do something in your heart etc. and then wanting to immediately reap the delight of having accomplished the desire through a wave of inspiration. Bam. Done. Desire is so noble, so fueled by motivation, so right, and delight is...well, delightful!  But discipline is so boring, so unglamorous, and so. much. work. It takes all the fun out of what you wanted in the first place. Like we've bought into this lie that if something is meant to be we won't have to work for it because it will just happen, while your perfect soundtrack is playing behind you in your perfect moment.  Lots of people feel this way about relationships, trust me- we've talked to them-, but that's just one example out of many. What I'm talking about applies to about anything worth doing you can think of.

But it's in the trenches of discipline, in the wrestling around and trudging through the consistency and work of it, the every day stick-to-itiveness that something tangible is born out of the intangible desire. It's through the discipline that we become. We become what we desire and it's to our ultimate delight.


Because, really, the delight at the end of the tunnel (oh wow, unintentional cheesy pun) is all the more delightful, carries so much more weight when you work really hard for it, no?

I know that, yet I still struggle with the discipline stage of the process. I'm not really known to be the most disciplined person to begin with. I'm a live in the moment, love to be surrounded by inspiration kind of person, so to me the idea of doing something even if you're not inspired to do so, just because you should and need to, is a hard pill for my artsy little soul to swallow sometimes.  Maybe that's just me.  Being disciplined and focused actually seems to be custom built into some personalities, and I'm a little jealous of those. But if anybody that happens to read this is like me, let this be an encouragement to you, as it will be an accountability to myself, to press through and keep the discipline of consistency. I've learned to embrace discipline through the years, not because I like it, but because I know the transformation taking place inside of me because of it. Keep on doing what you need to do, even if you don't feel like it.  Don't let the desire die. Do it if it feels like drudgery.

Because one day you might look up and the drudgery might have turned into delight and you're doing what you wanted to do.

This is where I am with writing.  I have to change the way I think about it and approach it. I need to be in the trenches with it more, as a daily (or almost daily) discipline rather than looking at it as something I will sit down and do when "inspiration" hits. I've learned that doesn't really happen and consequently the non-writing happens as a result. Rarely does inspiration hitting and me having a moment to sit down and go with it fall into the same space. Part of discipline is making a plan for yourself instead of just waiting around and thinking things will fall into place the way they need to.  They won't. I am going to make some space on this blog for my thoughts.  And I will continue to write about my family and overload your cuteness capacity with pictures and quotes from my precious children.  And I will try to make it a little predictable, as in certain days having certain themes.  That way if you don't want to read about snotty noses or first teeth (both of which I have in my home currently) you don't have to.  Maybe, just maybe one day I will have another blog.  But let's face it- some days it's a big deal if I can get a shower before 5:00, so I've got to take baby steps, people.  Just gotta start where I'm living, you know?

Finally, a quote I heard from a book I think I want to read: "Our stories affect one another whether we know it or not. Sometimes obedience isn't for us at all, but for another." I'm hoping on the inside that will happen, because it's the only way I won't feel silly and self-promoting in sharing.  Because what do I even have to offer- who am I kidding?  But that leads me to the part two of what keeps us from doing what we need to do, based on something else I read:


"Don't compare your behind the scenes to someone else's highlight reel."  Yep. To be continued...


Peace out from the Pate house.