First Sleepover.

Well you heard about the birthday boy, so now you get to hear about and see the birthday party.  For his eighth party, Addison really wanted to have his first sleepover.  We thought about it for a while, knowing we would have a new baby, and wondered if we could pull that off.  We concluded that we're not really sleeping a lot anyway, and it would only be a few boys that are super sweet kids, so we decided to go for it.

I'm happy to say this event went down in the books as a big success.  The kids had fun, we had fun and enjoyed visiting with the parents while they were there, they actually slept (with only a small threat from Chris finally at about 2:30am), and the baby cooperated, mostly :) Except when we were trying to clean the house before the party- he must have sensed this event was not about him!  Actually, I think Jaxon slept as much as the boys did, in a different time frame! Of course, after the fact, Addison informed us that he and another boy did in fact stay up until 4:00.  His big thing the whole time was that he was going to stay up all night.  I let him know that it was indeed called a "sleepover", not a "stay-up-all-night-over".  It was laid back and enjoyable.  The only parts that weren't laid back were self-inflicted (as they usually are), because the aforementioned (in the last post) perfectionist parents stressed over details such as planning and executing excellent party activities (Chris), and decorating and making a from scratch character cake (myself).  I have unintentionally set some kind of precedent for myself with making the birthday cakes now... I think it started with Cadence's third b-day party and I made a rocket cake for her Little Einsteins party.  I haven't looked back since, and now I just can't bring myself to get one made at the store, even if I just make cupcakes.  It would certainly be easier not to do that, but now that's just too easy, isn't it...

Enjoy the party in pics!

 My party boy, all dressed up in his Phineas and Ferb t-shirt to match the party.

The set up...It was a Phineas and Ferb theme- a cute cartoon about two brothers that make elaborate inventions and creations during summer vacation.

We had a create your own sundae bar and the test tubes made fizzy flavored drinks- the bad guy on the cartoon is an evil scientist so we went with that theme.

Is that the biggest pizza you've ever seen??  And yes, Cadence did come to the party wearing a crown and fairy wings (seen in the above right pic)

And here is the Perry the Platypus cake.  In the cartoon, he is the boys' pet who does nothing except make animal noises and has this goofy boxy look to him.  But the boys don't know that he is really a secret agent known as Agent P who fights the evil scientist.

Chris, the grand master of ceremonies, put the kids in two teams and they played bean bag toss tic tac toe in the backyard and then came inside for a "Where's Perry?" Scavenger Hunt.  The kids really had fun with the hunt- they were running all over like crazy!

The last part of the hunt included finding these items and then coming together and building an invention out of the materials they found.  As you can see, this team got some help from little sisters :)

 This was around 11:00 ish or so, after some hard play and fun.  The two little brothers went home after the party activities. We settled them down to a movie in the hopes they would fall asleep.  Well, the one on the far left, Liam, went out (He was the youngest).  For the others, it was the threat at 2:30am that got them to quiet down :)  But really, how cute is that- all in their little sleeping bags.  My son's face looked very happy all night.  So my face was happy all night.  This is the stuff of being a kid.

 Peace out from the Pate house.

8 is Great.

Yes, we now have an eight year old, as of September 17th at 3:23 in the afternoon.  I'm swallowing eight about as well as when you have to take one of those huge horse pills and it gets stuck right in the middle of your throat. Yep, it's going down hard on me. Don't know if it's the juxtaposition of having a new baby, the hormones (for me) that come along with having a new baby, that we had to give Addison deodorant already (what on earth will adolescence smell like- yikes!), or that we had our first sleepover this past weekend to usher in a new era of parenting, but eight just seems a lot older than he should be.  That's my baby. The son of my youth. Half of the time I still feel so young myself it doesn't seem possible that I'm seeing this guy grow up before my very eyes.

But he is. And as sad as I am that time is stealing away my little boy and slowly replacing him with a little man, I am also looking forward to this next season of life for him.  I am so proud of the person he is already at a young age that I can't wait to see how that will continue to unfold and develop as time and maturity begin to be poured onto the foundation that's been laid. I think one of the reasons I am having such a hard time with it is my own fears and insecurities about that foundation we are helping shape and build for him. I am not far enough along in this process to know if I will always have those I-hope-I'm-doing-right-by-my-kids moments, but I imagine you probably always will as a parent. It seems the older he's getting those moments are feeling weightier with the responsibility of making sure we're being good stewards of this great gift God has given us in our son (and all our kids for that matter).  The good news is that it's not really all about us.  God has written his book of days before he had his first breath, so ultimately I know His grace covers our shortcomings and I believe He is merciful and faithful to lead and guide Addison in that path. And that He will guide us as parents as well.

I know, I know- it sounds like he's about to be a teenager or something.  I'm aware that we still have some precious years of boyhood ahead of us to celebrate, but with this one we have lots of moments that feel like he's older than he is. We are trying to slow him down more than speed him up most of the time in many departments. But that's also part of who he is that we love so much. Here's a snapshot, literally and figuratively, of Addison at eight:

• He is becoming a voracious reader.  We love that he loves reading and are amazed at the level in which he does so.  When I tested him back in the spring, he was reading between a 6th-7th grade reading level.  He reads chapter books and will sometimes finish one in a day, depending on the book.  He loves Hank the Cowdog, Loud Boy, and Captain Underpants to name a few. He reads the Bible a lot also, which is really awesome. Readers are leaders, buddy!
• Still all up in video/computer games.  He really likes what he calls "strategy games" that he has to think about.  Currently the cool thing is to download games on Daddy's iPad.  
• Daddy has gotten him into Fantasy Football with him.  Being a guy that loves stats and such, he is having fun keeping up with the games and how well Daddy's team is doing.  He is into pretty much anything with Daddy these days, as a matter of fact.  He's really identifying with "guy" stuff, and he has been desiring and requesting more and more "quality time" (as he will call it) with his Daddy.  Daddy is happy to oblige. 
• He is a sponge for trivia and general knowledge.  He loves to "quiz" anybody and everybody on any and every topic.  
• Still hasn't outgrown the famous Addison hand shake- anything exciting from a game to something on TV, he shakes his hands and sometimes his whole body!  I wonder how long he will have this trait.  We still get a kick out of it, even though he's done it for years.
• He is such a good big brother.  Always has been, but we've been seeing it even more since Jaxon has been born.  He has helped so much with his sister- sometimes I think he's more patient with her than I am!  There have been days when I go upstairs to tell them it's rest time, and he's already helped her get into bed (because he's been watching the clock) and turned on her music. We have heard him go and comfort her at night when she's gotten out of bed.  And of course they play together and will have their moments, but for a big brother with a little sister, he is so tender and caring with her.  Like I said, they do have their moments of course :) I am looking forward to seeing him with Jaxon as he get older and takes him under his wing as well.  
• Still a super hero guy through and through.  When we moved earlier this year, I asked him if he wanted to redo his room into something else, thinking maybe he would want something cooler and older.  But he was very adamant that he wanted the same super hero room he had and didn't want to change anything.  I think part because he still loves superheroes and part because he doesn't change things up very often.  He's very much a stick-to-what-you-like, vanilla, plain cheerios kind of guy :)
• His heart for God continues to grow and grow.  He has shed tears over things like worrying that he loves his parents more than God to mention one specific example (which at his age we certainly didn't want him feeling bad about that so that was a little tricky).  His concern with loving God and people is very genuine, and it's always so touching to see that manifest at different moments.
• He has strong convictions. And I mean strong convictions.  If he is convinced and has concluded through reasoning (that sometimes makes sense and sometimes doesn't) that the sky is green, good luck trying to persuade him that it's blue. I am certain that when he takes the Strength Finders evaluation one day Belief will no doubt be one of his themes. This is and will probably always be a blessing and a curse in his life that he will have to wrestle through and sort out.  Of course at eight years old, it can prove to be a challenge to us as parents because he can tend to think he is the expert on things and can have a hard time with being teachable on something he thinks he already knows.  But when it comes to convictions about Kingdom things, this will be a wonderful thing because he will not be easily shaken or persuaded.  
• He has, and has always had, perfect pitch.  Love to hear him sing.  He has also inherited my ability to hear a song like once and know the words and how it goes.  This will come in handy, from personal experience :) 
• Something that he has also seemed to inherit, from both Mommy and Daddy, is that little bit of perfectionist streak.  The good side of that is that if he does something it will be done well and exactly how it is supposed to be done.  The dark side of perfectionism is the tremendous fear of failure.  We are really working through this right now, because he will want to quit too quickly if he thinks he is not going to be able to do something.  Or be instantly good at something.  We're trying to really encourage an adventurous spirit to try new things.  And always remind him it's okay to mess up, be wrong, and even not succeed at something right away and try, try again. He's way too hard on himself!

These are just a few of the many things that make up Addison James Pate right now. I'm sure eight will be just as grand of an adventure as seven, because life is just fun with our sweet firstborn son.  Peace out from the Pate house.

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Changes

You know, like the David Bowie song, just in case you were wondering why I was stuttering...

*I actually wrote almost all of this post last week and something terrible happened and I lost all of it except the first few sentences.  So it's taken me this long to sit down and recreate it and it's not nearly as articulate as I was feeling in the moment when I wrote it. Plus, the heat is rearing its ugly head at us again this week, so the remarks about the weather make no sense in the context of the current temperature.  But it was nice while it lasted :) Hopefully summer will get just a few final jabs at us and then be gone!*

I think if you listened hard enough you would hear all of Houston (and probably all of Texas for that matter) letting out a big collective sigh of relief today. The oppressive, relentless heat of the hottest summer on record has felt like everything's been on hold, just surviving, waiting for it to be over.  You can almost feel the dry, cracked ground and withered trees with their backs bent over in oppression breathing in this cooler air.  Like coming up for a breath of air after being trapped in sinking sand.  Life. Hopefully this is a sign that we're entering into a new (cooler) season.

We are entering into a new season.  As cliche as it sounds and all, since this time of year is associated with change and transition with a new school year beginning and the changing seasons.  There is always a natural momentum that comes with this time.  But our feeling of change transcends backpacks, colored leaves, and pumpkins.  Our transition has more to do with the lack of transitioning, actually.  For the past year and a half we have been adjusting and transitioning- pretty much every life category there is had some changes.  New city, new job, new house, new church, new friends, new puppy...then when the dust was settling from all of that came the news of a new baby followed by another move, dealing with our first broken bone, adjusting to a growing belly, and surviving the epic, one-for-the-books heat to end all heat. While all of that has been wonderful and exciting (okay maybe except the broken bone and epic heat part), it's been a lot of new. So now it feels like we're settling in, sinking our roots in deeper, building on the foundation of everything that's been laid.  Growing into our skin, if you will. Although I'm sure we will continue to have constant movement and will have to adjust and make changes along the way, we're not having any major life transition while we're doing life.

I'm really excited for the days to come.  This is going to be one of the most challenging seasons I've had personally as well as us with the church, but I think it's going to be one of the best too.  Homeschooling two kids with a new baby and keeping up with the activity of a growing, thriving church and all that entails is a lot to say the least. As overwhelmed as I feel about it, I'm also excited because I know that God's grace will equip us to do everything He's called us to in order to go to the next level.  It's His power, not my own, working through me to accomplish it all anyway.  It's definitely time to step it up around here in many areas.  When you're dealing with a lot of transition and constant adjustment, unfortunately what happens sometimes is going into survival mode, simply maintaining what you have, and keeping your head above water so to speak. Inevitably you become a little too comfortable with some things that might not be ideal but don't have time to work on because it's working good enough at the moment. This became especially true towards the end of the summer when I was so very pregnant and we were basically prisoners to the indoors because of the heat. But now that we're getting the feeling of settling a little we have the opportunity to go a little deeper and fine tune some things. It's time to shorten the gap between the potential of what we can be and what sometimes ends up playing out. That is going to require two things: Number one making sure I don't have unrealistic expectations for me and my family and number two making some realistic changes in order to carry out the vision we have for our home.  Both are definitely needed. It's going pretty good so far- I just have to go with the flow a little more because some days the best laid plans fall to the wayside, driven by a tiny little human that doesn't always feel like fitting perfectly into the plan I have made :) And that's okay.  We're at least moving in the right direction with vision and direction.

And in keeping with making some changes, I am also planning on changing things up a bit on the blog- as in, actually try to write more.  I am thinking about compartmentalizing it a little more in order to be able to post more often and cover more topics.  More on that to come.  But for now, I leave you with a quote that describes pretty well the lens in which I'm attempting to view our days:

This is the beginning of a new day. You have been given this day to use as you will. You can waste it or use it for good. What you do today is important because you are exchanging a day of your life for it. When tomorrow comes, this day will be gone forever; in its place is something that you have left behind…let it be something good. Author Unknown.

Peace out from the Pate house.

Labor Day.

Considering today's holiday (I started writing this yesterday), I thought it would be ironically appropriate (and a clever play on words) to take this opportunity and share Jaxon's birth story since I haven't really yet. Sorry, this might be a little long.

As most of you know, it was already quite a journey making it to the point of scheduling the induction.  My plan was to go to bed around midnight since that was the last time I could eat anything, wake up at 4:00 am to have a glass of apple juice (as per the recommendation of the doctor) because there was nothing after that, not even water, not even gum, then go back to sleep for a couple of hours before showering and calling promptly at 6:00 am in hopes of getting in to have the induction that morning. What actually happened was that I was up almost all night long having sporadic contractions that prevented me from sleeping. I was quite irritated, honestly, considering I was going in for an induction that day. I had accepted the fact I wasn't going to go into labor on my own, so all I wanted to do was get some rest before we went in!  Oh well.  I made the call at like 5:58, just to make sure I would get in.  I had serious butterflies and apprehension, hoping I would not hear I couldn't get in that day, and was delighted to hear the nurse at the hospital tell us to come in at 7:15.  We had Alethea come to the house to be situated with the kids, and off we went. 

 My last picture pregnant, on the way to the hospital. Wow, just wow. 

Got to the hospital, checked in and got everything ready.  We met our L&D nurse Liz, who was completely lovely and I wish I would have gotten a picture with her.  She was by my side through the whole thing and was so sweet and pleasant.  Took three tries to get my IV in, which was really painful. Dr. Cowan came in around 8 to check me and said she was going to just break my water to start.  I was kind of surprised that she was going to do that instead of let the antibiotics get in my system first, since she knew what happened with Cadence (and how she was born like 30 minutes after they broke my water).  When she checked me I was 4 cm dilated and 90% effaced- halfway there!  It was kind of funny, because after she broke my water, we all just kind of sat around for a minute, half expecting everything to get really dramatic.  Well, it didn't so she left and said she'd be back around lunch time expecting to deliver a baby.  I had decided not to get an epidural right away, and just thought I'd see how quickly everything went and take it from there.  I liked being able to move freely and go to the bathroom, etc, instead of being strapped to the bed.  And I went for a couple of hours with the contractions getting more intense.  After one of my trips to the bathroom and I was shaking and could barely stand because the contraction was so crazy (those contractions on pitocin are no joke- much worse than natural ones), I decided to end the misery and get the epidural.  I was a 6 at that point.  So they came in, poked me in the back, and voila- magic!  It was just so crazy to go from such intense and crazy pain to feeling nothing.  It felt like cheating, like I wasn't doing any work.  I kept asking Liz if I was still having contractions, because I had heard sometimes getting the epi slows down labor some, but I was still trucking along. 

Shortly after I was pain free and in happy land, my parents and (one) brother came into town and the hospital.  We sat around and visited, got checked periodically, and (I) had an orange and cherry popsicle and ice chips.  At one point I started feeling the contractions only on my left side, and all it took was a little click of a pen thing I had to up the medicine and then it was back to feeling nothing! I looked out the window and saw at one point that it was raining, which was so strange because rain was such a rarity. At around 1ish the fam headed out the door to catch the cafeteria before they closed and the doctor came in to check me.  I don't really know what I was expecting since I felt nothing- I think I was just planning on it taking a while.  So when she checked and said, "Oh yeah- you're done.  Let's have a baby!", I was kind of in shock.  Chris and I just looked at each other in disbelief that it was already time for him to come.  So he had to call my parents right back to let them know that I was pushing already!  We had Hillsong United playing in the background, and I'll always remember Chris pointing out that the song that came on at that time was the song, "Go".  We thought that was ironic and perfect!  

 Ready to have a baby!

So basically after about 30 min, give or take, (I have no idea how many pushes, but not that many), out he came!  1:39, to be exact :)  I basically laughed him out because the entire experience was so surreal and it all seemed too easy, especially considering how dramatic the other two birth experiences were!  Start to finish, I was in L&D about five hours total.  Of course, I had done so much of the work in the couple of weeks leading up to that there wasn't much left to do! 

He definitely came out crying!  And crying, and crying.  I probably should have tried to comfort him more, but all I could do was laugh because he was so cute and sweet and I just couldn't believe it was all over.  He immediately stuck out that bottom lip in the famous "Pate pout", something his brother and sister both did. They laid him right on me, which was different than my other two, and I loved.  I had him to be enamored with and distracted by while they finished up the labor process (with the really unlovely but necessary things, including a few stitches for me) so that was nice.  And then it was over.  Just like that.  My doctor was so encouraging and great through the whole process.  I remember her telling me I did a great job and kissing me on the head before she left.  I ordered some food and they began the process of getting me transfered over to the recovery room.  I was so tired and out of it!

They took the baby away for a couple of hours to do their tests and get him all cleaned up, and by the time he came back into the room the family was there, and he got to meet his brother and sister.  As I shared in a previous post, Addison was more than happy to hold him and study him, and Cadence didn't really want to have anything to do with him.  I'm happy to report that she is much better now- she was just a little afraid at first.  The kids stayed at the house with Granna and Poppy while we were in the hospital, and they came to see us a lot. I had some moments in the middle of the night that first night, with a rain storm bending the palm trees outside of the window and Chris trying to sleep on the very unforgiving styrofoam couch-bench-thing, and I just sat there in the bed holding Jaxon close and taking the moment in.  I would just look at his precious face and wonder if I remembered how to do all of this, this newborn thing. I felt nervous and anxious like it was the first time.  I didn't sleep much those nights while we were there.  I find it extremely difficult to sleep in a hospital bed when people are coming in to check on you and sounds are happening all around. We stayed two nights and got released Sunday, which was longer than we wanted to be there.  By Sunday morning we were more than ready to leave, and we sat around for about three hours, everything ready to go, only waiting on the pediatrician to come and check Jaxon to leave.

The OK crew left when we got home from the hospital and took the kids with them back to Oklahoma, and then my mom came in that evening and stayed for a few days.  It was so nice to have help around for those first few days and while we were in the hospital.  It's mostly a fog, that first week and a half or so.  You don't remember too much due to sleep deprivation and your body recovering. I remember eating lots of Jelly Belly jelly beans (courtesy of my parents going to the factory in CA and brought a bunch back) and watching endless episodes of Arrested Development on Netflix (courtesy of my husband) while strapped to the couch nursing.  I remember taking turns sleeping on the couch holding a baby who was trying to figure out what the heck was going on in this new place.  He hated his first "bath"and screamed when we changed his diaper.  I had major swelling in my feet, ankles, and hands for about a week afterwards which totally freaked me out.  My feet looked like marshmallows, and I could literally feel water sloshing around on top of my feet.  Ew. We were so blessed to have meals brought to us from our amazing spiritual family at church for almost two weeks!  Chris's parents came through that next week and brought the kids back with them, so we got to enjoy company (and help) a little longer.

Believe it or not, that's the shortened version.  I don't want to drag this thing out too long, and hopefully I documented enough here to jog my memory when I revisit this later on and have already all but forgotten all of this.  My last Labor Day.  I can say it was nice to end the childbirthing era on such a pleasant, albeit surreal, note.  Now after trudging through two days of trying to get this post up, I'm done- a little baby boy needs a bath and we need some sleep! Peace out from the Pate house.