One last hoorah as a party of four...

Last week as I was in the shower getting ready for us to go out of town, I was hit with a wave of emotion. I was thinking about it being our last out of town trip as a family of four, and I got a little sad.  Not that I'm not excited or looking forward to adding another member to our family, because I certainly cannot wait on so many levels to meet the little wiggle worm in my belly, but because I realized a chapter of our lives was coming to a close.  It made me see that in the last five and a half years we had grown quite comfortable, like a warm blanket on a cold day or an old friend.  It made me realize that our kids have grown into a pretty self-sufficient place in life, as far as kids go.  There are no diapers and bottoms to wipe, they can feed and bathe themselves, and though growing up is presenting its own challenges and trials, five and seven can be really fun ages.  I realized that their life as they know it is about to be turned upside down, as excited as they are about it.

Now of course, knowing the depth of joy and love unspeakable each of our children has enriched our lives with, I can only imagine how much deeper, stronger, more beautiful, and really, more fun the next chapter will be with another child.  There are days I cannot contain the joy I feel about having another baby, and I daydream about tiny fingers and toes and walk over and smell the Johnson and Johnson's Honey Apple lotion awaiting the sweet skin to lather onto.  But I've noticed about myself that when change is approaching, it throws me into this introspective spin cycle that can become really dangerous.  As good as it is to reflect, which I love to do, nipping at the heels of reflection for me can be regret.  And then I think about all of the things I wish I was, wish I would have done, time that was wasted, and this general overwhelming sense of please-God-don't-let-me-screw-my-kids'-life-up gloomy cloud.  But the good news is that I'm working really hard on letting go of the expectations I put on myself, because I'll never live up to them, and I know deep down inside that it's only by God's grace we are doing anything worthwhile anyway and He more than covers my imperfections and short comings.

So in short, I just wanted to enjoy our time, enjoy our children, and forget about all of the things I just said above.  And I really did.  We had a lovely time.  They had their age-appropriate moments, but mostly everyone got along, had great attitudes, and we just had a lot of fun.  The Great Wolf Lodge ended up being the perfect solution for us, considering I was pretty much outlawed from the doc to be out in this wicked extreme heat, and who really wants to be anyway!  It was all right there in the hotel- waterpark, food, and other fun things to do.  I think because I had been feeling so crummy before we left that I imagined myself mostly sitting poolside with a cold drink and a good book, maybe occasionally sneaking up to the room for a nap and enjoying from a distance.  But that really wasn't the case at all.  I was right there in the middle of it, and I'm so thankful I felt pretty good for those few days and had the energy and physical ability to keep up with everyone and splash around in the fun.  That's what I really wanted to be doing anyway :)  I even tried a water slide when we first got there that looked pretty innocent, but let's just say that was the one and only time I did that...

Before this gets too long, here's some of our pics from the trip.  We also took along our waterproof video camera that we've always been too nervous to put in the water, but I'm so glad we did because it was awesome!  That part will have to come later, though, because I have a lot of little clips to dump on the computer and sort through.  Good stuff, though.

Our room was SO cool- this was the front part for the kids- bunk beds!  And two TV's, which was a non-necessity but definitely a luxury we enjoyed!!  The entire hotel was made to look like you were in the woods in a cabin.

A couple of pics of the outside part.  Not as much going on out there, but still some slides and other fun stuff.  

This was what you saw as you entered into the inside part.  There were also huge glass windows throughout the lobby, so you could see all of this the minute you came into the building.  These guys are ready to go!

This was more of a little kids area.  Behind that was a big wave pool and lazy river.

More slides.  One of these (I think) is the Howling Tornado which Chris and Addison rode.  And tried to capture on the video camera, but it ended up being so crazy there wasn't much footage!  From the sound of things it was pretty intense!

 This might have been Addison's favorite part.  There was a thing called Magiquest, and it was like a big game.  You had a wand and used it to unlock things all over the hotel, giving you quests and adventures.  It sent us (mostly Addison and Chris cause I couldn't handle all of the stairs!) all over the hotel, up and down floors, waving wands at treasure chests, pictures, and talking things that interacted with you.  He was so.into.it.  It was almost all he could talk about!!

 Here he is receiving a new quest!

Every evening in the lobby they had story time/a little animated show.  Think a la Chucky Cheese moving and singing little character machines....Cadence and I went here while Chris and Addison were on wild quest adventures all over the hotel!  You were supposed to go in your PJ's.

She looks a little tired after a long day, but before the story time started she was turned around facing the other kids, and I couldn't hear her but she was telling all of them stories of her own.  From what I could see of her, it was something very important and dramatic.  Of course it was :)

And she just LOVED meeting Violet the wolf afterwards.  Please note the wolf ears in the picture :)

 Don't have many water pictures because, well, I didn't want to ruin my camera or my phone!  But I'll try to upload some of the little videos soon.  Oh- what's that?  You thought you would see pictures of me waddling around in my maternity swimsuit?  Ha- nope!  I do have a few just for documentation's sake, but I feel like a whale as it is, and I certainly don't want to have that permanently cemented in cyberspace- in a bathing suit, none the less!  Just had to get over it while I was there, but it didn't matter much to me because it wasn't like I knew anybody :)  Like I said before, it was a great trip.  It wasn't Disneyworld, our first choice that got cancelled upon finding out I was pregnant and will be due when the trip was scheduled, and it wasn't Sea World, our attempt at second best closer to home, but you would have thought our kids were at either of those places the way they were so excited and having so much fun.  That's the beauty of kids, and our kids specifically.  They don't know any better and just had a blast right where they were.  We'll do the big trips one day, but I celebrate our time for what it was and it was just perfect in that moment.  It was more than just about the cool place. It was just us, being together and having fun as a family.  The Pates are a party wherever we are :)

Peace out from the Pate house.

Jaxon in 4D

This experience was so crazy- it is really hard to describe or do it justice.  We have always wanted a 3D/4D ultrasound, but we've never had one done with any of the kids.  This probably being our last, we decided we were going to just do it.

This was an especially unique and memorable moment for me.  I have mentioned this before, but unless you are a fellow mother who has carried life inside of you it's hard to understand or try to imagine and picture the feeling of another small person moving around in your belly.  It's a very intimate and specific thing, a constant reminder and connection, and no other feeling, as in the literal, physical feeling can be used to compare or describe it.

So when I laid on that padded table and that image came on the screen, it was extremely surreal. 4D means we saw everything in live time, not just still images.  Every movement, every turn, kick, expression, and action was happening as we were seeing it.  It's a strange thing, having your insides projected on a huge television to watch. And the fact that someone else is occupying your space.  The room that used to be yours with a bladder, stomach, ribs, and everything else that is now being aggressively taken over shared.  I'm still bewildered by the thought that everything still fits in there.  Barely.

Oh, so that's what is going on in there. That's what I feel all day and night.  Hello, Jaxon.

The technician seemed particularly impressed with the clarity of the picture, and more specifically, him. She commented on his really long eyelashes and huge lips.  We sat in amazement as we saw him open and close his mouth, grab the umbellical cord (and even stick his tongue out to touch it), turn, touch his toes to his head, and many other things.  At one point he opened his eyes. I have to admit, that was a little freaky- a little too real!  He gave quite a performance- about everything cool that you could see from this experience he did.  And then at the end came the most amazing part- he started smiling. Now, granted it's probably just reflexes or something, but that didn't matter to anybody in the room.  Even the technician was freaking out!  He brought the house down!  It was so sweet.  He just looked so happy and peaceful in there.  And he just kept doing it.

It made me think of all the scriptures about God knitting us in our mother's womb and how He knows us before one of our days is lived.  I always like to think about my children being in the presence of God inside of my womb, being comforted and protected by Him while they grow.  Honestly, in that moment of that sweet smile, that's what it felt like.  Not a reflex or coincidence, but a small, tiny person so at peace and joyful, tucked safely away and blissfully enjoying the perfect environment for the time being.  I felt like we got to know him a little in those moments.  And it definitely makes all of the misery discomfort of the days of late worth it.  The sleepless, painful nights. The constant pressure and bearing down on my pelvis.  The waddling.  The exhaustion.  The emotion. The residing on top of my bladder (and I mean on top).  The "fake" contractions.  My unrecognizable figure. The constant cracking and popping of my hips awkwardly expanding in preparation of what's to come.  Just to name a few. I know it's going to be over soon.

And when those long eyelashes and big lips are in my arms and we're all lovingly gawking over the newest member of our family, it will be but a memory.  But until we can all meet him, here's a little glimpse of what we got to see:

This is the reason they can fit inside of there- that's his foot touching his head!  And right below the foot is his hand.

Baby foot!  So clear! Actually, the original images we have are even more clear, but these still turned out pretty good!

Doesn't this face already look so sweet??

Smiling.  So awesome! 

We got more, but those are the best ones.  I have to say, the funniest moment goes to Cadence: the technician would write words on the screen sometimes, saying what the body parts were or cute little phrases and Cadence exclaims, "Look!  He's saying something!! What is he saying??"  It was truly hilarious.  And with that,

Peace out from the Pate house.

Doing Life- Through Pics

*Okay, I confess- I started the blog below last Monday but never finished putting the pics on there. But, this Monday evening I feel much the same so it applies!  It has been a fun but tiring few weeks as we've had company for the past three weekends in a row.  Two weekends of family and one weekend of friends.  It's been glorious.  So wish all of our family was closer. 

As you know, Mondays are the days when the fog clears, the dust settles, and what remains are two people (myself and my husband) regrouping and putting themselves back together after a long and eventful weekend.  And I must add, my recovery time is getting longer and longer as my very pregnant body is massively rebelling, kicking and screaming, to the demands of our every day life and schedule.  Oh boy.  That's another story. Let's suffice it to say that I've been praying a lot lately for a triple extra measure of grace to run through the tape with this little guy.  I actually took two two hour naps today.  Wow.

So, just like always, a lot of nothing and everything has transpired since the last post.  I thought it might just be best to do an update through pictures, taking you on a little tour of life at the Pate house lately.  So here goes...

This guy has been one of the main stories lately- most of you that read this know about what happened, but the week we moved in (which was just not a great week altogether, hence one of the reasons it has not made mention here) Addison fell off the swing set and broke his right clavicle (collar bone).  Our first experience with a broken anything.  He has been in a sling the past five weeks, which in the time perspective of a seven year old has been an eternity not being able to play, climb up into his new loft bed, and having to use his left hand for everything!  We took him in last week (after some drama and frustration dealing with insurance and having to go more than one place) to reveal in another x-ray to reveal his bone has healed- but it has healed crooked, or not flat.  You can feel it when you touch his collar bone.  So where does that leave us?  Not sure, exactly.  The doctor who looked at it didn't seem overly concerned since he wasn't in any pain and has his range of motion back.  She assured us that it is healed and stronger than before.  The takeaway is that there is not an urgency to do anything about it for the time being, unless something starts to bother him.  We're in the process of getting some opinions and advice.  For now he is just happy to be rid of the sling and have a normal kid life back :) 

Easter. Yeah, it's been that long since I've caught up!  Unfortunately, I didn't get a photo shoot because the broken bone incident occurred three days before and it was a feat enough to get Addison dressed Sunday morning, so I wasn't going to push it with a photo shoot.  Still toying with the idea of trying at some point, just cause they looked cute :) Look at those hams.

We took a trip to the Museum of Natural Science.  There's a cool part inside that is dedicated to insects of all kinds, and then there's a massive live butterfly exhibit.  It's a huge, enclosed, glass tower thing with a rainforest like environment (think really hot and humid) where literally hundreds of all kinds of butterflies are flitting and floating about for you to see.  This pic below had tons of butterflies flying through the air, but you couldn't see it unfortunately. 

Inside the museum part was a display of hundreds of different kinds of chrysalises.  We thought it was just a display at first until we realized live butterflies were hatching out of them.  They then took the butterflies out of the case and released them into the rainforest part. It was super cool.  Can't see too close here, but we were amazed at some of the chrysalis shapes and colors.  Some of them looked like 24 carat gold- nature is truly such a masterpiece of God. 

Just a small sampling of some butterfly shots I got. The pic on the right has like 8 in it, just an idea of how many there were all around.  For a total lover of butterflies like me, it was heaven. Cadence also squealed with delight at seeing them so close all around, some even landed on you.  

Addison, well...interesting thing about that....he had a surprise reaction to the butterflies. As in, as soon as we stepped in there and saw them flying all around he started freaking out. And I mean, hysterically freaking out.  As in, Chris had to remove him from the habitat and they waited outside until we were finished.  Not so sure what was so menacing about the butterflies.  We all had a long talk about it and he thinks he'll be better next time.  It was really weird because he loves animals and insects and was really into the museum part before where we were learning all about them.  Hmm...

 A little photo op outside of the museum.  No doubt one of the last pics of us as a family of four.  It's hard to gather my true size from the pictures.  I'm really huge, people. 

T was in town for the weekend and got to have fun with us.  It was great to see her, because it had been a long time. This is such a good picture.

*I apologize for the wonkiness of the following pics- I was trying to make them smaller and fit better, and I cannot seem to get them to do anything else so it's all wacked. And as a reminder, click on the pic for a bigger version of it.

The following weekend there was something called the Art Car Parade.  It's apparently a big deal in Houston, and all of these really crazy decorated cars are on display and then there's a big parade.  We went to the preview to look at some of the cars.  They were crazy!  This is only a few of the many pics I have!

So if you look closely on the right,this

car is made of peeps. Like the candy.

This one is worthy of note, because I 

later found out that my son was 

"pretending" to lick the car...well you

can guess what happened.  The germaphobe

in me tried not to completely lose it.

All of the fish on this car moved and sang with music. It was a major hit with the kids. 

The car below on the left is made of teeth, toothpaste, and all things teeth related. Very interesting and very creepy at the same time!

 This car on the right was made of chalkboard paint.  Cadence in particular enjoyed that one.

So this was probably the coolest part for the kids- they had this huge foam party going on right in the middle of the park.  Oh, to be a kid!  The expressions on their faces are that of pure, kids having a blast, joy.  I love seeing those kinds of faces :)  And afterwards the same park has a big splash pad so we got all rinsed off!

I definitely have so many more pictures and things to share, but I think this little post is about to get overloaded.  Thus the tragedy of being so far behind.  But I wanted to put these on here at least, because we have some fun things coming up that will have their own space!  This past weekend the Hargis side of the family came to town, and we had a lot of fun as well.  Silly me- I didn't bother to take one picture the whole time which is highly unlike me!  But it was all of us- my two bros were able to come too which was a special treat!  I said it earlier, but I really wish our family was closer.  We so enjoy seeing them, but it's always a little sad when everybody goes home...

I so badly want to show you pictures of cute kids' rooms in progress, but I'm close to finishing so I'll wait.  We even have the nursery going which is so exciting!  I am DYI'ing a lot of the baby's room and kids' rooms, so it's been fun.  I recovered a glider/ottoman yesterday, and I must say I was pretty proud of myself :)  My goal is to have most all of it done by this weekend, but we'll see how it goes.  Sometimes my pregnant self has other plans so I have to just go with the flow these days :)

This weekend is going to be all about baby.  It actually started last weekend with an unbelievable 4D ultrasound (that I will share pics in it's own post).  This Saturday we enrolled in a big brother/big sister class at the hospital where the kids will talk about and learn about life with a newborn, and we get a hospital tour out of it which I was wanting.  Then Sunday afternoon our awesome church is throwing us a church-wide baby shower that will be more like a party!  It's a family/co-ed event, not a traditional shower with just women, so I know it will be a lot of fun!  It's such a blessing for them to do this, especially since we are starting all over and have no baby gear/stuff whatsoever!!  I know God will provide :)

Well, sorry this was pretty long but I needed to get it out there.  And you'll notice it took me three tries to get this thing sent out- it's obviously not Monday anymore :)  Oh well!  Peace out from the Pate house.